“I love you Allie. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope and every dream I have ever had, and no matter what happens to us in future, every day we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours.
And, my darling, you will always be mine.”
That is how Noah, the lead character from Nicholas Sparks’ novel The Notebook, expressed his love for the love of his life and also his wife, Allie. They touch the heart of every reader, every person who has known or never known what love is and how it feels to be in love. I personally have always had a fascination for this ‘thing’ called love. And maybe that’s why romantic novels have always graced my book shelf. But as we approach with life, not every minute, or day is a fairy tale. It is a rough and tiring ride, that we are compelled to take no matter what our personal feelings are. And then one thing that I have noticed over the period is how people compromise with feelings to deal with life and live it in a ‘practical’ sense. Life and love however separate their ways here. We CANNOT compromise with love. And when we do, it’s a deal we make which puts our whole life at a loss. You can compromise and make deals with every other thing on earth, but not love. To prove it better, take not just the love you hold for your better half, take the beautiful feeling of love you hold for your mother. Will you ever compromise with that? NO!! Not even the most cruel and emotionless person earth would do that. But come to dumping your girlfriend or boyfriend, it’s no big deal! The word is the same, LOVE, but feelings are different. Emotion we attach with them is different. We never compromise with one; we do have to compromise with the other. And we do. We do it to save other relationships that are more important, to save our own ego, to save our happiness. But ask your heart, what will you do to wash away the scar in your soul? No matter how small a relationship was, no matter how improbable it was, LOVE will always be LOVE and that scar will stay back!! Either you never loved the person or you lied. Now many of you would say that I am being impractical. Readers, I agree. I am. Well, when you are talking of love, you need to be that. Why don’t we think of being practical and then falling in love? Why don’t we think of the possibilities of having a life long relation before falling in love? Because, my dear, its love. It’s the truest of all human emotions. It’s magic in all sense.
Love, like all other things and feelings on earth, has change over time. All that you read above, for many that would sound too cheesy and boring. Well, I don’t disagree. Being in 21st century, if you try to be like Noah, dude, that’s going to drain you! Love now has other terms added to it, “long-term relationship”, “Short-term relationship” and then “serious relationship”!! In this whole process relationship is what gets lost. We try to keep up to all needs of our partner, but there comes a moment when we get pissed off, are tired and then when it all piles up, we call it off. For many, the lurking truth that the relationship is not acceptable in society, slowly takes the relationship down and finally they split mutually. The scar however remains. For the new-generation play-boys/girls it’s all very ‘casual and simple’. You like her, say her that you love her, and you are starting to dislike her, say her you want to call it off. Start. Finish. Very few will you find would say that they have been with each other for years now, and that they will go on for all the days to come. And they actually do so. One thing you see in such relationships is dedication, sensibility and then acceptance of all truths that confine both of them. They work out problems, they don’t drag problems. They fight with challenges, but put their family at foremost. And this ‘family foremost’ thing is understood by both sides. This is what understanding is. Trust comes up over time and possessiveness pairs up with maturity. That is how ‘true’ love stories in today’s world work. You definitely don’t find them in every nook and corner, but they do. There still are people who feel classic love can be made practical. Love is not about tagging your partner on facebook as “my life” and then the very next day, you update tagging him/her as the worst person someone could date. I don’t say stay with cheaters all your life. No one should be cheated upon if it is love, but people do cheat. Humans after all! And once cheated, baby, you never should give that person another chance. Love can be gained again, but not trust. Once broken, its gone forever. Without trust, love shall forever be incomplete.
So the next time you read of love or say are getting attracted towards someone, think about all those who matter to you. Love is not blind if you can live with eyes open! Dying for love and putting your parents heart on fire forever, is no pure deed. It’s a sin for which not even Cupid would forgive you. Be sensible!! New-age love doesn’t demand you to go all gaga over love and tell your girl that you will swim across the 7 seas for her. You need to promise her that wherever she stands now, tomorrow with you. She will stand two steps ahead. And mind you boys, girls never run after money, she wants that financial security in the same or better way in which her parents provided it. That makes complete practical sense if you think in terms of economics and emotions. For all the beautiful ladies, love is not measured when your partner gifts you the most expensive gift, it’s when despite all that he showers upon you, and you value his love the most.
To put this ‘cheesy’ piece to an end, I would say love doesn’t happen to only the most beautiful people on earth. But it is the feeling that makes you the most beautiful soul on earth. There is a Noah and Allie in each one of us, but the pairings are not always set right. And for some, by the time we find our Noah or Allie, we lose all our faith in love and start hating it. Let love help us live. Let it not be the end of the world for us. I put an end to this by quoting another few favourite lines that Noah wrote to Allie:
“In times of grief and sorrow I will hold you and rock you, and take your grief and make it my own. When you cry, and when you are hurt, I am heart too. And together we will try to hold back the floods of tears and despair and make it through the potholed streets of life”
This is commitment, this is love. Take a moment and feel how beautiful that special person is for you. And how beautiful you have become ever since you have known love!